Posted in Word Prompt

Just Get Started – Just Keep Going –

via Daily Prompt: Distant

I did start the search for my crowbar, so I can start taking up the rotten decking, but I seem to be just moving things around. I have a ‘distant’ vision of my garden when it is finished. As in a long way away…I need to JUST DO IT NOW!!!

The old ironing board is adding to my ‘Things to be upcycled’ stash…A distant dream to finish my garden & all those upcycling projects. The old ironing board can be a plant stand & frame for annual climbers…

The thing is. I am here, now ‘Blogging’ about what I plan on doing in my garden. Soooo! My dream garden is a long way in the distance! It is as of now. A distant goal. One I can reach sooner rather then later, if I just get on & do it…

Mind you my garden needs certain things done to it, before I can get to the upcycling projects. Like the rotten decking. There is a LOT! of rotten decking & I suspect a wasp nest under the decking, as I felt buzzing vibrating under my feet when I was standing on a plank trimming my ivy…

Once the decking is up, the wood made into raised beds, then I can really get creative with my upcycling, but sitting here blogging is not going to get me to that stage. Also…There are spiders. LOTS! of spiders under that decking…’Yaaakes!’…Right. First I will put the hoes on & flood them out. Then I will start, one plank at a time…

Oooorrr!!! …Do I leave the decking for now & start putting my plants in the pots…Yes. I’ll do that…

That distant vision of my dream garden, just got a tinsy bit closer…’Baby steps!’…Or ‘pigeon steps’ they’re shorter…

 

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Posted in Emotional Eating, Motivation., Paul Mckenna I Can Make You Thin., Pep Talk, Weight loss journey, Word Prompt

Physical Hunger VS Emotional Hunger…

via Daily Prompt: Precipice

“Precipice” That sounds like a good word…What does it mean? I’ll go & google it, see if I can fit it into my weight loss journey…

Hmmm! Only virtual steep mountains on my virtual weight loss journey, but a hazardous situation? Yes…Sweets, cakes, biscuits, chocolate, can’s of ginger beer in the fridge, the high sugar variety, my favourite drink of all time…Hazardous to my health {sighs}

Another hazard to my health, a ‘precipice’…Forgetting the reason’s why I so desperately want to stick to my healthy eating, weight loss journey. Strange I know. How can you forget. It is easy to stop focusing & move my focus onto something else…

Its like when I tell myself ‘I want to eat something sweet’…I don’t really, I just think I do. It is that emotional eating ‘Change the way I feel’ sudden, urgent PULL! to eat. Then I don’t feel satisfied, so I eat some more, by then I am thinking ‘I might as well eat what I want, that diet failed, as per usual’…They are hazardous thoughts & feeling’s…

First brain. No food is forbidden, restricted, off limits. I can eat what ever I want to eat…’When I feel hungry’…Psychically hungry, hunger that is gradual, not sudden, hunger which is……

What is physical hunger?

Physical hunger, also known as stomach hunger, is a complex interaction between the digestive system, endocrine system, and the brain. Physical hunger signs begin when the body needs refuelling and manifests as stomach rumbling or growling. When we eat, we feel better because our need for hunger is being met.

Sometimes it does not hurt for our body to feel hunger, so we learn what hunger feels like & learn to trust that we can cope with hunger, it is not going to last for ages, because we can feed our body…A lot of the time we are actually thirsty, not hungry, our body needs hydrating not fuelling with food…

Physical hunger doesn’t make you crave for specific comfort foods. Emotional hunger unlike physical hunger makes you ache for your favourite junk foods like pizza, cheesecake, cookies etc.  In a state where you are hungry physically you can consume any sort of food especially healthy foods!

So we just need to find ways to control our emotional hunger & trust our psychical hunger to allow our body to make healthy food choices. Mind you, when I eat 13pm to 23pm I am sort of forcing my meal times. Its like I’m hungry coming up to 13pm, but I make myself wait…I think about food when I get up & look at the clock, but I tell myself ‘No!’…I don’t feel hungry, I feel thirsty. I find it easy to wait until 13pm, I even wait longer, until I feel hungry…

Emotional hunger generally leads to binging. When struck by emotional hunger, individuals tend go overboard with their consumption of food and can down any junk food present in sight. When it comes to emotional hunger your brain doesn’t really register whether or not you are full and hence individuals keep eating beyond the point satiety without even knowing it. On the other hand when eating because of physical hunger, individuals are usually aware about how much they need to eat and feel satiated when their stomach is full.

One of my dieting downfalls…I really do need to concentrate on following the Paul McKenna ‘I can make you thin’ 4 golden rules…

When I have my twinges to eat, when I should not be eating. Like late at night, when I can’t sleep. It is ’emotional hunger’…Hence getting through it by telling myself ‘no’ & reminding myself why I am not going to eat. The hunger subsides after a drink, so obviously I was not hungry, I was thirsty & I got in the habit of just eating for the sake of it…

Emotional hunger surfaces from the brain. Instead of your belling growling and aching for food, emotional hunger comes from the head where you are only focused on certain kind of taste and textures and it usually points towards some kind of junk food.

So forget following a specific food plan; focus on dealing with the emotional eating. My diet is fantastic when I am eating to satiate my hunger…I did get to where I did not want to force myself out of my comfort zone of saying no to myself…

Posted in Weight loss journey, Word Prompt

I Am The Most Hospitable Red Wine Drinking Buddy…

via Daily Prompt: Hospitality

How do I fit the word hospitality on my weight loss Journey…Hmmm?

My friend is coming to drink red wine & have a good natter, this evening. She will be my guest. I provide half the wine & the glasses, lol…

Drinking red wine is one thing I am not going to remove from my diet…

Not everyone chooses to drink alcohol, but those who do are probably smart to choose red wine. Every year, the research on the health benefits of red wine piles up. Wine has always been a staple in the human diet. In fact, scientists have documented red wine as far back as 5400 B.C.

Here are ten reasons to drink red wine (in moderation of course!)

Sleep
New research shows that red wine, especially Cabernet Sauvignon, Chianti, and Merlot, contains melatonin. Melatonin regulates the body clock, so drinking a glass of red wine before bed may help you sleep. Melatonin is also an anti-oxidant, which means it also has anti-aging and cancer preventative properties.

I certainly sleep better after drinking red wine…

Longevity
A compound in red wine called resveratrol has been shown to increase lifespan in animal studies.

Brain Health
Resveratrol has been shown to protect against Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

Heart Health
Red wine has been shown to reduce the risk of heart and cardiovascular disease thanks to the resveratrol and other anti-oxidants it contains.

Lung Cancer
Researchers from the University of Santiago de Compostela in Spain found that each glass of red wine per day reduced the risk of lung cancer by 13%.

Prostate Cancer
Four or more glasses of red wine per week has been shown to reduce men’s overall risk of prostate cancer by 50% and the risk of the most aggressive forms of prostate cancer by 60%.

I won’t ever have to worry about getting prostate cancer…

Breast Cancer
Moderate consumption of red wine is believed to lower the risk of breast cancer. However, drinking more than 1 or 2 alcoholic drinks per day appears to increase the risk of breast cancer in women, so moderation is key.

The only negative is we drink a bottle each twice a week…

Colds
Researchers in Spain found that people who drank more than two glasses of red wine per day have 44% fewer colds than people who abstained.

I rarely get a cold {Touch wood}

Inflammation
Resveratrol has been shown to have anti-inflammatory properties, which helps overall physical health since many diseases and ailments can be attributed to inflammation.

A biggie for me…

Cholesterol
Resveratrol has been found in studies to lower LDL cholesterol, while another ingredient in red wine, saponins, also have cholesterol lowering properties.

I will carry on drinking red wine on my diet plan, because my weight loss plan is a life style change, not a temporary fix. I enjoy drinking red wine. I enjoy chocolate too…

I had better go & get ready to receive my guest / drinking buddy…

Posted in Motivation., Weight loss journey, Word Prompt

via Daily Prompt: Final

Oo! An interesting word prompt for me ‘Final’…Before I get started I need more coffee…

BRB!

I’m BACK. Here goes…

My final destination where I put down roots & build my dream virtual home…I am taking the scenic route, picking up weight loss knowledge as I go; creating new habits. It is actually quite exciting…

Just imagine what I will look like, how I will feel, when I reach my final target weight of 9st. When I weighed 9st before I had my first child, I measured {32aa-24-34-22} I had been working with horses full time, riding, cycling 90 minutes each day. Working with horses is a very active job…I won’t be as muscly & fat free, so I won’t be quite so slim, but I will feel ‘Amazingly, fantastically, fabulous!’ I can’t wait…

I feel inspired ‘Impowered!’ Like nothing can stop me & even if it tried, I won’t let it. I want to live. I want to live a healthy life. I want to be here for my loved ones. That is what ‘final’ on my weight loss journey means to me. I have got so much to live for & it most definitely is not to eat sugary junk food…Soooo! much ‘Mmmmm!’ pleasure from picking at snacks, out of habit & boredom, but I’m fat, but I’m unhealthy, but I’m decreasing my life expectancy…

I ‘Finally!’ got the message which stuck…The final ‘reality check’…my Mum dying of cancer & becoming painfully aware that I am heading in the same direction. After all we share the same genes…but it is not ‘Final!’ I can do something about it. I can improve my health. That is an exciting feeling. Being healthy again, being active, being flexible, being able to breath whilst doing my shoes up, because I won’t have a HUGE! belly in the way…

Final! weight loss destination is a great end. Final in some ways is not so good. giving up on weight loss journey & allowing this final weight loss journey to be my final attempt at reaching my final target weight…NEVER! GOING TO GIVE UP!!! I am so ‘Determined!’ to succeed on my weight loss journey. That is my final word!

This time next year. I will be a happy, confident, attractive, slim, healthy me!

Posted in Motivation., Weight loss journey, Word Prompt

I Realise That I Am Doing It For My Health & To Improve The Quality Of My Life…

via Daily Prompt: Realize

Its word prompt time ‘Realize’. Fitting ‘Realize’ into my weight loss journey, blog…

I realise that I am at that stage in my life, where I have to succeed on my weight loss journey, I have no choice. I realise that I want to enjoy walking again. I want to go for walks in the woods with my little granddaughter & dogs, but I can no longer walk long distances {Over 20 minutes} with out being in pain…

I realise that I have learned a lot about dieting over the years. Where as I always maintained a size 16 going up a maximum of 18. I went up to a 22. Now a 20. I maintained a size 16 for years. After losing 3st I went down to a size 14…Ummm!

3 stone to only reach a size 14? Yes I was noticeably slimmer, but…Really? 3 stone; one size, maybe two if at the time I had gone up to a size 18. Then I regained at a rapid rate & changed shape; got more in pain…

I realise that counting low calories is BAD!…Yeah! Great! I lost 3 stone. Then I went from an average 16-18 to a whopping 22, now I’m a size 20 with a big belly. I am only 5′, so a size 20 on me, lets just say I look square, ok maybe a rectangle…

I realise that I have it in me to succeed & I will improve my health, then my ideal weight/size will catch up. I am more or less maintaining my ideal weight/size. Before I had my first child, I weighed 9st; I measured 32-24-34-22 {Muscly thighs from working with horse, riding, cycling} I was tiny…

Everyone seems to define me as always being FAT! it aggravates me slightly, that they assume my kids must take after their Dad, because they’re slim & I’m fat…Ohh! my 27 yo daughter who is fat can take after me, lol…Feck off!

I realise just how much my excess weight is starting to effect me & those around me. I realise that I have the opportunity to reach my desired size 12, to be happier {Not that I’m unhappy}, healthier, feel more attractive, feel more feminine, have lots more energy, feel a lot more motivated…

Ohh! I realise that if I lose too much weight, at my age I will look haggard. Nice body, shame about the face. Where I look good from the back, then when I turn around…

shocked face

“Each to their own!” That is how I feel about myself, not other women who have lost weight, have got a great figure…but…Ummm! Just saying. Plump up a bit. Fill out those deep wrinkles, fill out that turkey neck. I’m aware that for some that is not all that easy…

Anyway…I digress. Where was I? Ohh! Yes…

I realise that it is not going to happen over night. This time next year I will be at least 52 lbs slimmer. Or if I drop 0.5″ off my waist/tummy. I will have a 28″ waist {Size 12} in 28 weeks. My desired size is {36-28-38-22} I feel I will not look haggard at that size. Or I might go {34-26-36-20} we will see…

Of course I will be happy with each & every lb; inch I lose…I will be happy when I lose a chin. I realise that when I first thought I was fat…

ha-ha-ha-3k0s8c

Nuff said for now…

Posted in Weight loss journey, Word Prompt

Be Generous To Yourself & Loved Ones…

via Daily Prompt: Generous

I do like the daily word prompt. Soooo! ‘Generous’…Hmmm? How can I fit ‘generous’ into the theme of my blog, which is about my weight loss journey, so quite self centred…

I am being generous to myself, improving my health, so I have a better quality of life. What a generous offering; more energy, more motivation, more confidence, less pain, better breathing, healthier, happier in my own body, so much more energy to have a better quality of life & I get to live longer to see all my kids have kids & all my grand kids have kids. Wow! How generous is that ‘To myself’…

Maybe that sounds a tad self centred, but I’m sure my family want to see me happy, healthy & spending time with them. I could carry on eating myself to death. Or I can eat myself to a long, happy, healthy life. Its a no brainer. Why would I want to carry on filling myself with unhealthy crap, so I literally feel ‘CRAP!’…

Be generous to myself. I am an intelligent woman. I have the knowledge & capabilities to succeed on my weight loss journey. Yes I can eat chocolate, cake, takeaway’s…but…a very big but. Actually a big BUTT! I can eat exactly what I want to eat ‘In moderation!’…I am eating to feed my body nutrious healing foods…

I am going to feed my body ‘Generous’ amounts of nutrients to heal itself…The 12 hour daily fast, from 23pm to 13pm is giving my digestive system a rest, so my body can put its energy to healing, repairing. How generous is that…’Woooo!’…

Killing myself with sugar & over eating, is actually quite dumb. WTF! woman. Just eat a frigging banana. I want to eat chicken. Well eat actual chicken & add herbs & spices for added flavour. I want a kebab. Its easy to make my own version & its 10 times tastier, with the added bonus of being healthier & cheaper…

Pizza? Use a roll, make my own version. After all its only tomatoes, cheese, other toppings. Actually I am going to plan homemade kebab & pizza into my slimming world diet. Ohh! Prawn cocktail…Yum! Can I get light seafood deli sandwich maker? I will look…

So! I am being generous to myself on my weight loss journey. I am also generous with my time & compassion for the people I care about. Generous with complete strangers? I am a tad wary of the intentions of complete strangers, but I smile, I listen, I am friendly, I am not a judgy intolerant person. I give what I can give, but I don’t give to those that ‘Take!’…

Spare change for a so called homeless person, sitting there with his mobile phone & better dressed then me…Feck off! Personally I find do gooders who give spare change to those so obviously not homeless are dumb & basically doing it more for their ego then generosity. Give to the charities who help the homeless, not some geezer scrounging for his next pint or takeaway…A true homeless person would not be dressed quite as well, or be on his mobile…

Nuff said for now…I need coffee…

Posted in Motivation., Word Prompt

Strong Black Coffee-The Only Bitter In My Life…

via Daily Prompt: Bitter

Its word prompt time…’Bitter’…Hmmm?

Some times I wonder if I am all bitter & twisted from my experiences of being in the scene {BDSM-spanking-D/s scene, that is} There are issues there. There is resentment there. Not so sure I am bitter. Though many people in scene appear to be bitter, twisted, emotionally screwed up individuals…

I just wrote a whole vent, then deleted it…

Which says a lot. I’m over that part of my life. I don’t need the crap. To me it was about fun & pleasure, then it stopped being fun & pleasure & turned into a clique of ‘non playing, socialising, emotional issue, jealousy club’…

The end…

I’m so happy to feel I let it go & moved on…Deleting my private blog, where I used to blog my negative thoughts, really helped me dump the negativity. As I believe. The power of our mind…

I was bored with the scene. I was bored with making do…

I almost went off on a vent again, then deleted it, because the thought of thinking it & typing it, is ‘Ugh!’ Boring!

I was not bitter. I was resentful…but now I’m ready for my next journey. The journey to losing all my excess fat. To becoming a slim, fit, active, attractive {In my eyes as well as my husbands} me…

My daughter wants to work with horses, like I did. She wants to work at the same stables I tried, before finding a decent stables. It reminds me of when I was slim ‘Thought my thighs were too fat, they was 5 inches slimmer’…It reminded me of how fit & active I was. I could go for long walks, long rides, long bike rides…

NO LOOKING BACK! I am not going in that direction…

This time next year. I will be looking back over my weight loss journey & seeing amazing results. I will be slim me again. Fit me again. Attractive, feminine me again…

I am sick of people assuming I am fat. As in a fat person who was always fat. Yeesss! My daughter is slim. No she does not take after her Dad because she is slim. She takes after me. I was slim when my oldest daughter was a year old. I lost all my baby weight…

Still not bitter, but lots of resentment…but bitterness, resentment, fatness, negativity in general, does not define me…I see the bigger picture, I always have…

Nuff said for now. I need coffee. That is the only ‘bitter’ in my life…

 

Posted in Motivation., Slimming World., Weight loss journey, Word Prompt

This is a lifestyle change, to lose weight, get fit, improve my health..’Persistence!’ & ‘Patience!’ is the key…

via Daily Prompt: Lifestyle

These word prompts are very helpful, to get the blog juices flowing, so to speak…

For my weight loss journey to be successful, I need to make it a lifestyle change, not just a diet, which I stop following when I reach my target weight, only to go back to how I ate before, which lead me to being over weight in the first place…

Following the slimming world diet, can be used as a way to eat a healthy diet & other less healthy foods in moderation. The not so healthy foods have syn values. A bottle of red wine has 27 syn’s ‘Yaakes!’…but I enjoy drinking red wine with my friends. I like nothing more then a good natter, putting the world to rights, whilst sharing a few bottles of wine…

So red wine has to be in my diet. Not just whilst losing weight. Chocolate has to be in my life, but in moderation, quality rather then quantity. A galaxy ripple is around 9 syn’s {1 syn per 20-calories}…I have got 105 flexi syn’s per week {My version}

I enjoy cooking from scratch, cooking home cooked meals, but I also like to use cooking sauces. On the extra easy plan, my meals are free, but the cooking sauces have a syn value…

Though this recipe looks quite easy…

259499cc06a5bba83312451abc94d9a7

 

  1. 700g lean mince (5% fat)
  2. 2 onions, chopped
  3. ½ green pepper, chopped
  4. 3 cloves of garlic, minced
  5. 2 400g cartons of passata
  6. 1 400g tin of chopped tomatoes
  7. 4 tablespoons of tomato puree
  8. 4 tablespoons of water
  9. ½ teaspoon oregano
  10. ½ teaspoon basil
  11. ½ teaspoon thyme
  12. Salt & pepper to taste
Instructions
  1. Bung everything in the slow cooker and crank the heat up to low. That’s right. Low.
  2. Leave it there for 6 hours or so (or just until you get back from work. It won’t burn).
  3. Boil up your spaghetti or pasta to your own taste.
  4. Stir your Bolognese and serve with your spaghetti.

‘Mmmm!’ Yummm! Cooking from scratch is also a lot cheaper. I don’t know why people feel it is more expensive. Homemade chips are a lot cheaper then oven chips & taste so much better, also they are more nutritious & free on the slimming world extra easy/green plan. Homemade sweet potatoe chips are yummy too & a super food {I think} I leave the skin on my homemade potatoe chips, but peel sweet potatoes…

I am aiming to improve my health, so I have more energy & motivation to do the things I want to do. I am going to concentrate on my garden, because I am growing lots of plants from seed, to sell. I am also making cement pots in various designs, to plant up with my plants & sell. To do this I need to improve my health, which means taking myself in hand, changing my lifestyle…

This is a lifestyle change…’Persistence!’ & ‘Patience!’ is the key…

Posted in Motivation., Weight loss journey, Word Prompt

I’m Fat & Ugly. All I Have To Do Is Eat Less & Move More…NOT!

via Daily Prompt: Exposed

Maybe the reason why so many people fail to lose weight & seem to just get fatter, rather then thinner, is because we are exposing our inner most self depredating selves to our selves…Ummm! As in ‘Really looking at ourselves’ & ‘really seeing our fat selves’…Then ‘hating what we see’…Those feelings of shame, for letting myself get into this state. Its like the years have gone by & I have just got fatter…It means stepping out of my comfort zone…

make (something) visible by uncovering it…

I am SO! SO! SOOOO!!! determined to FINALLY! reach my final destination on my weight loss journey…Part of the failure when it comes to my trying to lose weight, is the ‘I have failed every other time, why should this time be any different?’ I was SO! SO! SOOOO!!! determined all the other times as well…

I need to expose my inner, INNER! most fat self. Or thin self, that might be better. I need to gather up everything I have learned about weight over the years & use it to my advantage. Yeah! I’ve dieted before. Yeah! I’ve failed. Yeah! I wasted so many years being FAT! & getting fatter…but…Now I have all that knowledge…

I don’t go out as much as I used to, because I feel so fat & ugly. Yes I am fat, no of course I am not ugly. Actually no, I am not ‘Fat!’…I have fat on my body. I am so much more then the fat on my body. The fat I allow to weigh me down. I am literally carrying the equivalent of a 6st person…Ummmm!

I have suffered from severe depression in my life & I got myself through it. I learned the triggers, I taught myself how to deal with it, through my own version of cognitive therapy. So now I have all that experience & all that knowledge to do the same with the heavy lump I am carrying around with me…

I think I may have reached my menopause. What an anti climax that was…So its supposed to be more difficult to lose weight when you reach ‘The menopause’…Hmmm! Whatever! I don’t care. I am no longer willing to allow all these supposed issues to become excuses & hold me back. No more self sabotage…

“OH! I’m on a diet. Now I want to eat. When I am on a diet I am ‘Obsessed!’ with food…”

Why? Because I believe food is the only thing to get me through the day?…I’m on a diet, now I ‘WANT!’ chocolate, I can’t get through the day with out chocolate, I am going to rebel & eat chocolate. There! That showed me! Huh!…Yeah! but me is still fat. Me hates being fat. Me does not feel comfort from so called comfort eating. It is more self destruction eating, then comfort eating. The comfort, if there’s any, lasts a mere few minutes…

Of course chocolate tastes better then fruit. It is more satisfying. It is more convenient…Ummm! Not really. It does not take long to pick up an apple & bite into it. That said…If I want to eat chocolate. I can eat chocolate. I do not have to deprive myself. Chocolate can be eaten in moderation. Quality rather then quantity…

So chocolate makes me feel exposed? lol…No my failed weight loss attempts make me feel exposed…Its like ‘Here we go again’…I need to get my head around it, to be able to change my whole life style, attitude towards food, myself…I am holding onto the issues which keep me from letting go of the fat & working extra hard towards reaching my desired size 12/14…

Its like the emotional eating. I eat when I am bored. I eat out of habit. I eat to relieve stress. I find that comfort eating is a sudden URGENT! huger pang & craving. It comes on suddenly ‘DEMANDS!’ I eat!…I can’t be arsed to try & ignore it, or do something to distract myself, because I feel I’ll probably give in anyway… but when I give in, I don’t feel satisfied. I feel like I want more food. Especially the foods I am supposedly not allowed on a diet…

The diet mentality…

It is not easy. There is more to it then just eat less, move more…

Nuff said for now…I will continue…

Posted in Motivation., Slimming World., Weight loss journey, Word Prompt

I’ll do a lot better on my diet this time, because I am better equipped with more knowledge…

via Daily Prompt: Better

This diet is going to be better then all my diets before…

Because? Well, for one thing I have learned a lot from all my so called failed attempts at dieting. Low calorie diets end with my leptin levels dropping, therefore my bodies ability to burn the fat becomes less efficient. In fact it drops to a meagre 10% efficiency, then I hit a so called plateau, then the ghrelin hormone rises, so I feel more hungry…

Well I know better this time…

So no low calorie diet. I will eat healthy, following the slimming world diet, which is basically a way to eat a healthy diet & add other foods in moderation. If I stick to it. If I am patient & persistent. I will lose all my excess fat, be healthier, have more energy, therefore I will feel more motivated

…&…better in my own skin…

I can’t wait. I feel quite excited. Of course I need to keep myself motivated, every day, basically all day. Though I want to be more relaxed around food, more in control. I don’t want to just forget & eat something which is not part of my slimming world diet. It is so easy to forget, or to just think ‘Why am I bothering’…

There is that niggling bit of self doubt…but…Not this time. This time I will do a lot better. I am going to reach my final destination on my weight loss journey. I am going to avoid telling anyone. Because they just automatically think ‘Another diet. She’ll fail on this diet, like she fails on all her diets, then when I do…well they was right wasn’t they’…NOT! this time…

So I had better keep it to myself….