Posted in Motivation., Pep Talk, Weight Tracker

3 inches in 4 weeks – My sub life is doing pretty good as well…

In four weeks, I have lost around 4 lbs {Give or take 0.25 lb} & dropped 3 inches off my waist/tummy. That is pretty good going. I am doing amazingly, fantastically, tremendously, fabulously well…

My subbie come back is doing just as well. Its weird. I have got a new FL & Bs account…Two of my oldest scene friends know it is me. Another old friend who used to come to the parties I hosted at my house, he messaged me on my original account, asking if it was me, but there was no mention of chatting, or play…

Then I receive another message from him on my new account. I have not told him who I am just yet…Why? Because he sent me a long personal, detailed, getting to know me message, based on my profile. I have learned more about him, he has noticed more about me. So the way he was with me before was based on the gossip started by my first Ex Dom…Hmmm! Interesting…

I know he is looking for a sub/spankee to play with. I know our friendship will be based on how much we play. How long is he willing to keep chatting? I have already decided that I want to drop another 6 inches off my waist/tummy before I play again…

The thing is…this time I have got a fresh start, a clean slate, the opportunity to create my own reputation, not be stuck with the reputation my first Ex Dom tarnished me with. I remember the reputation he tarnished another one of his Ex sub’s with. He made her out to be thick & a trouble maker, when I met her, I found she was far from thick, she was actually quite intelligent, she certainly talked sense about our him…She was no trouble maker, she was just extrovert & swore like a sailor. I say ‘was’ because she left the scene in the end…

Anyway…I remember him being obsessed with the ‘reputation’ thing. He found that he could give people a bad reputation through spreading malicious rumours. Hmmm! Not a nice person…

Part of me thinks…He is a gossip, he is the trouble maker. If he works out that my new account is me, he will take great pleasure in letting everyone who will listen {The majority} know that it is me, then he will add more nasty, malicious gossip…I actually feel quite nervous…but…If that happens I will just do what I done before…Take a break from all the drama. Hopefully by then I will have proved myself to at least a few decent Dom’s & still have at least one Dom to play with. Though will he treat me accordingly…

Actually my second Ex Dom, who I was in a D/s relationship with for 7+ years, was warned about me, lol…He ignored them, but he did treat me accordingly…Everything is falling into place now. I get it now…Poor sad, mentally ill narcissist, it must be terrible living in his emotionally retarded head…So many years wasted…Why did not not just leave years ago, then come back as someone new, meeting non gossiping, clique peeps…

He would soooo get a thrill from knowing that he has that much power over me…Has he got power over me? Only if I let him. I will not stoop to his level. I could spread malicious gossip about him, but I’m not a malicious gossip. I believe ‘What goes around, comes around’…I believe he got his karma…

Everything is going to work out for the best…

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Posted in Exercise, Motivation., Paul Mckenna I Can Make You Thin., Pep Talk, Weight loss journey, Weight Tracker

Day Fifteen – Week Three – Dropped 4 inches Over All – Lost 0.5 lb…

Yeesss! Another successful diet day. Another successful diet week ‘Woooo!!!’…I was going to say that my week two weigh day has been a disappointing weigh day, because I lost ‘Only!’ 0.5 lb…but…I lost over all 4 inches, which is 1″ more then week one. My measurements are more important & I know how stubborn my body can be. There is also other factors, like water…

0.5 lb is a loss. It is going in the right direction. The most important thing to me is inch loss & so far in 2 weeks I have dropped 7 inches over all. I measure my bust-ribs {under bust} waist-hips-bottom-thighs-knees-upper arm…

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This week I am going to start gardening like a crazy woman…I want to put all my plants in pots & cement over the ground where I struggle to keep on top of the weeds. My garden is too small for shrubs & too big for pots. When I move, I want either a huge garden, or a court yard garden. I inherited a garden which had been neglected for years. 5 years on, I’m still battling with the same weeds…

So! Inch loss! I am concentrating on inch loss, not weight loss. Which means carry on the way I’m eating. Yesterday I did not have any food all evening & went to bed earlier. So today, when I start eating at 13pm, I would have fasted for 18 hours, because I stopped eating around 19pm last night…

I am going to start gardening 10 minutes at a time. I want to move all my pots closer together. I have got lots of empty pots to fill…Lots of seedlings to plant & hanging baskets to hang. I am really slow this year…

Measurements

Bust – 44″ {0.5″}

Ribs – 39.25″ {0.5″}

Waist – 42″ {1″}

Hips – 45″ {1″}

Bottom – 44″ {0.5″}

Thighs – 26.25″

Arms – 13″ {0.5″}

Knees – 16.25″

I feel inspired to start focusing more on exercise & getting fitter, but I am not going to go back to eating lots of sugary junk food & processed food. I am going to carry on intermittent fasting 13pm to 23pm {Fasting more when I can} & eating healthy, no dieting…Inch loss is definitely more important then weight loss…

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First I need coffee, then gardening…if I was to do what Paul McKenna says in his book ‘I can make you thin’ I would forget the scales & concentrate on the 4 golden rules & getting active. I am going to carry on weighing myself & measuring myself weekly though. Some weeks I might lose lb’s & no inches…

I am going to exercise to build muscle…5 lbs of muscle burns 250-calories VS 5 lbs of fat burning a mere 20 calories. It is a no brainer. I am not going to start doing exercise I can not realistically keep up, but I am going to be focusing on getting more active & doing more strength training. Starting by moving pots around in my garden…

Posted in Motivation., Paul Mckenna I Can Make You Thin., Pep Talk, Weight loss journey

Over All – I Dropped 3 Inches – A Rambling Sub Me Post…

“Yeesss!”…I just done my week one measurements…Over all I lost 3 inches “Wooo!”…1” off my waist/tummy, which is ‘fantastically, amazingly, fabulous!’. It gives me the incentive to keep on exercising & eating healthy…

One thing which Paul McKenna say’s, which was a real eye opener. Slim people watching. Not as in ogling slim people, no! Watching how they eat. They eat slower {Mostly} They eat when they are hungry. They eat what they want to eat, then stop eating when they are satisfied…Also…They don’t have food on their mind all the time…

My husband is skinny, he is always on the go, rushing around like a blue arsed fly. He eats when he is hungry. Though I am trying to feed him a healthy diet {Rolls my eyes} He also stops eating when he is stressed, where as I eat more. If I could stop eating through stress, I would stress the hell out of myself, but then there is cortisol, which is released when you are stressed. I will stick to being my laid back self, but use visualisation to hold back the urge to so called comfort eat. Emotional eating as Paul McKenna calls it…

As I have said before. I used to be an hour glass shape, which is {Bust & Hips more or less the same measurement, waist 10 inches smaller then your hips} now my stomach is near the same as my bust. I look more like a rectangle now. I know that the healthy eating will eventually improve the inflammation. The cutting out ton’s of sugar will improve the insulin insensitivity, the cutting out processed food will reduce the sodium, so my water retention will balance itself…

I don’t want to carry on eating crap, feeling like crap, then ending up on medication, which causes crappy side effects, so I’m given more medication for the crappy side effects…When all I have to do is change my life style; eat a healthy balanced diet. I could go to the doctor’s about the water retention & get water tablets, but I won’t…not unless it gets really serious. What would be the point of taking water retention tablets & carry on eating processed junk…That is me personally, I am in no way critising people on medication. I am aware that a lot of unhealthy eating has got deeper issues. It takes a lot to change your lifestyle…

I am a big believer in the power of our own mind & that weight issues are mainly our mind & hormones…There are so many factors. It is not just eat less, move more. As I keep on saying…

Apparently we should use our imagination, instead of will power. Though of course you need the will power ‘self control’ to make the effort to use your imagination, but it is a lot easier then will power alone…When I am exercising I imagine myself as a slim me. I can’t see myself, so I can imagine I am already slim & fit…I also count 1-2-3-4 over & over & feel the pain, but ride the pain {I have got a high pain tolerance, I am a pain slut as a sub too, lol, strange I know} I imagine slim me…

Ummm! I just thought. When I was sub me, playing every other week, going to parties every other month, I felt sexy, I felt confident in my sub self, then jealous bitches happened & a old bloke, with a pot belly & bushy eyebrows, who was into ‘Young slim girls’ happened. My confidence was knocked. I started to feel too old, past it, too fat, too much attitude……

Then I stopped making the effort to keep in touch with my Dom of 7+ years…we literally ground to a halt, which was another jolt to my confidence. Though all those bitch’s…………I won’t say it…

The last time I played. I did not enjoy it one bit. I felt fat, ugly, unattractive, unfeminine, passed it, like I was a joke…So one of my goals is to get back to where I was, before I allowed the jealous bints to get to me. One in particular…

I have decided that I will go back to being a sub. I will go back to parties, but…I am going to lose all my excess fat first. I am visualising what I will be wearing, how I will look, how I will feel. My EX Dom’s reaction…Though make some fecking effort, mate…Jeeze!…Yeah! I know where you are. You know where I am. It works both ways. How I see it. If you really, deep down wanted to play with me, I would not be left to do all the running. 7 + years of my sub life wasted…Okay maybe I should not look at it that way…

Actually my main weight gain was after I stopped playing & going to parties…

Oops! I went off on a ramble then & I don’t mean the fat burning kind…

Nuff said for now…I am 30 minutes past my 13pm eating time. Which is quite positive, it means I can wait for food; eat when I am hungry…

I’ll shut up now…

 

 

Posted in Weight loss journey, Weight Tracker

Day One – Start Weight – Start Measurements…

 

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15st4.25lbs

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I did take my before photo’s…OMFG! I LOOK HORRENDOUS!!!…but…It gives me the incentive I need to keep on my weight loss journey. I was going to take ‘reality check, before fat photo’s’  every month, to see the results…but I am going to have a weekly photo shoot. I did not try to look good in my photo’s; my hair was in a tight, harsh, unflattering ponytail & I stood so you could see the fat. At least I wasn’t naked, lol…

I won’t add them to my blog just yet; when I reach the stage where I don’t feel the urge to hide myself away. Which could be some weeks. I am going to scrutinise my photo’s; Force myself to look at every little detail, instead of just seeing ‘Gross!’. How can I care about my body, if I hate it. I know I can lose weight to look & feel better; I don’t even have to lose that much. I feel better when I lose one of my chins…

I am off on my {Virtual} travels; travelling on foot {Virtually}

Oo! Its almost 13pm. I have been fasting for 12 hours. I done 5 minutes jogging on my mini trampoline, which earned me almost 2 syn’s. 5 minutes rebounding = around 35-calories. I will count 2 syn’s as I watered the garden. Surely that burned 5 calories…

I have decided that I don’t want to jump in with lots of exercise. I want to get fit. So I will have 15 syn’s each day. 105 syn’s each week. I drink 2 bottles of red wine each week, which is 54 syn’s {Gasp!} I am not giving up red wine. As this is a life style change, I want to adjust my diet to accommodate the wine…Otherwise I’ll go off the diet…

Food time…