Posted in Feng Shui, Indoor Garden, Life as a submissive/spankee, Motivation., Pep Talk

Start telling the universe what you want…

I am interested in feng shui…& after spending time in my son’s vacated bedroom, clearing out the junk…OMFG! That room definitely needs cleansing. It is going to be my new bedroom. So I get to clear, clean, decorate & move in all new stuff…

I’m left wondering…Was I a bad parent, because I left him to it, to do his own thing? That bedroom has definitely got bad chi…Then I’m thinking ‘I should have gone in his bedroom to completely clean up, I should have asked for his washing’…My husband would go & clear his rubbish, dirty dishes, do his washing, wash his bedding. Me…I thought he was old enough to take care of his own bedroom…My daughters take care of their own bedrooms & do their own washing. Aka ‘laundry’…

New beginnings…

A fresh new start…

Attracting strong Chi, or feng shui energy into one’s home or office is very important. A strong, vibrant flow of Chi in your home (or office) will keep nourishing your personal energy, thus allowing you to focus on and achieve whatever goals you have for yourself.

I have set myself goals, but I have not ‘Feng shui-d’ my home. Not entirely. Not thoroughly. There is so much bad feng shui. Like broken lights, a broken dish washer. That is going in the skip. A broken oven. Again that is going in the skip…

I am determined to fix everything, but I have to learn how to nag. My Mum told me I need to learn how to nag. As in ‘I want that light fixed’…but…I don’t like nag’s…Nagging is just an annoying, aggravating, droning noise ‘No one’ listen’s to…One of my friends is a nag, everyone in her family seems to hate her…Nagging is not good. So no I won’t be learning how to nag. I’d rather just do it myself. Not that my mum was a nag. My Dad was the moody ranter, lol…

5c823be47aa3e7e6698994dd3fed176a

 

45ff51a38233a9ba0e558c09898d40a6
I want to use every available space for storage, as my house is very lacking in storage space. Then again I could keep under my bed clear…but…I also have this irrational fear of something being under my bed, about to grab me. I watch to many ghost programmes, lol…

c05f727e1cbb8abd1632e1410c3f9165

 

eb11484e04a2a25ce2d5ffc5493cb192
I want to let go of the negative things in my life & move on, to create a fresh new, improved, relaxing future…With lots plants, writing, steering clear of negative people. I want to write fantasy sub/spankee stories to eventually sell on kindle, I want to grow a variety of houseplants, to eventually start propagating & sell…Time to let go of the negative clutter & create the motivation, inspiration, focus I need to reach my goals…both small, medium & large. Short term, to long term & in between…I am always evolving, just go with flow, but take along a paddle to steer my way…

 

 

Advertisements
Posted in Creative writing, Life as a submissive/spankee, Motivation., Pep Talk

Just start writing…

I want focus all my ‘sub/spankee me’ attention, on writing fantasy ‘sub/spankee’ stories…but now I need to ‘Just write!’…I want to read all my kindle spankee stories, to give me inspiration. Well more ‘give me confidence’…I can write as good as these spankee authors, if I put my mind to it…

It is easy to see others as more accomplished, more professional, more eloquent & see myself as an amateur. The kindle authors are amateurs too & they have managed to self publish a book on kindle…

It is my self confidence which is holding me back. So I’m an amateur. So a snobby grammar geek decided to point out my ‘Bad grammar’ in the story I wrote for him. He should know, he went to grammar school…Oo! Get him!…lol…

My Mum went to grammar school too & she learned how to read from the age of 3…My Mum taught me how to read & write, where school failed, because I was/am very quiet. I remember one teacher who did take the time to listen to me read…With other teachers, or parent volunteers, if I did not know a word, I would mumble over it & they would not ask me what I said. Which just goes to show, the teachers were not listening, lol…

Obviously that was way back 44+ years ago…I’m taking it things have changed…Then again I taught each of my children how to read & write, the school didn’t, though I’m sure they would take credit for it…

So this is me just writing. Practicing. Keeping it simple so as not to put myself off pursuing my published on kindle ‘fantasy sub/spankee story’ dreams…Some times when I read a perfectly grammatically correct story, or other writing, it is a tad dull. I was once given a story, which was apparently written for me, but…I had already read the same story, which I know had been written for someone else, only the name had been changed. I was quite hurt by that…Because it was my ‘then’ Dom/spanker who had sent me this impersonal story, which he had written for someone else…Soooo! Insensitive…

In my fantasy sub/spankee stories. The submissive will be treated with respect. She definitely won’t be treated like ‘Just a bottom’…I am going to get started on my characters as soon as I have finished blogging here…

Also…How do I write it? As myself? Me telling my fantasy story. Or as the story teller, describing my characters story? There is a name for that…The first person, second person, whatever person…I will look it up, because I don’t want to be hopping backwards & forwards, that will get too confusing & complicated…

I want to write what pops into my head ‘literally’…& see where it leads me…Though first I need characters, a plot, conflict, apparently my plot needs conflict so it does not flat line, whatever that means…

I will return…

 

Posted in Indoor Garden, Life as a submissive/spankee, Motivation., Opinion, Pep Talk

Is it possible to reprogram your mind?

Mind over matter?

Three photo’s of my indoor garden…I love my plants. The colours, the contrast, the various shapes, sizes & textures. They are ‘Glorious!’ {Smiles}

I thought I would do some research on the benefits of indoor gardening…

Starting with the tree hugger

  • They give an assist in breathing

My breathing is particully bad…{250 lung capacity} So any natural help is much appreciated…

  • They help deter illness

We have not put the heating on yet this year, but when we do. I will have purer, more humid air. I might need to water more often? I will look that up…

  • They clean the air

“Yaaay!”

  • They boost healing

Well my houseplants certainly make me feel good…So I am more relaxed, calm, a soothing contentedness every time I look at my plants…

  • They help you work better

Maybe I should find myself a cosy hidey corner. Surround myself with more plants, more plants is always best when it comes to plants…& start writing my fantasy spankee stories…’Mmmm!’ bamboo, willow ‘Birch’…lol…{That just confused any vanilla folks}

See…my sub/spankee self is still here. She will never go away, she is a huge part of who I am. I just need to keep working towards a way I can be my sub/spankee self & not be aggravated by the dreaded…Ugh! scene!…I might put a self imposed ban on myself using that word. First I need to get it out of my system…

I hate the scene with a vengeance…

The scene is full of weirdo, freak, chancers, perv’s, creepy perv’s, attention seeking, emotionally insecure, controlling, arrogant, nasty, malicious, vindictive, gossiping, back stabbing, cliquey, obnoxious, rude, ignorant, bullying, insensitive ‘Jerks!’ FROM HELL!!!

Right! I got that out of my system. Now ‘Let it go!’…Move on…Create my own sub/spankee life, through writing ‘fantasy’ stories & forget the real life screwed up ‘scene’…

The END!

From now on. If I mention that word. Or blog about that which can no longer be named…I will write a short fantasy story…Not that I want my mind to associate my writing fantasy, with the negative thoughts I have about the whatsitsface…No, mind…I am just training myself to put my sub/spankee thoughts to good use…

Wait! One more time ‘Scene!’

The ban starts now…………………………………………………………………………………

Posted in Motivation.

Happy Birthday To Me…

“Yaaay!” Its my birthday…I am 49 years young…The last year of my 40’s. My plan for my life in my 50’s ‘To come’…More gardening. More getting creative in my home & garden. No more sub/spankee me. Though of course sub/spankee is still in there…Planning!

I want to leave the aggravating scene behind & write my own fantasy spanking stories. I am going to create my own solitary sub fantasy ‘melodrama’ through writing. If they are any good {I might need to learn better creative writing skills} I will upload them as a kindle book & hopefully sell them…

Of course I need to get started. At the moment I am stuck on the last part of my scene existence…& its getting pretty boring…Ugh!…Soooo! Get writing. Get creating. Focus on the hobbies I have had for years, but always put behind my sub/spankee interest. Which I now realise was maybe a tad too all consuming…

Probably because…as my husband describes it…’It!’ The dreaded scene!…As a constant ‘Mind fuck!’ & his not wrong. Soooo! NO MORE!…Instead of going in the forum & reading the latest bitch-fest/pointless drama. I am going to write-write-write & write some more…

Its like my precious indoor garden, which I am creating…It fills me with so much…For fear of being a tad cheesy…It fills me with ‘Joy!’…I love my plants. I just repotted my anthurium. She had wet feet. She was living in a glass jar/pot. Her leaves were going yellow, so I thought it was time to repot her, where she can dry out between watering. Technically she could go with out being watered for some time, but now she lives in a terracotta pot, on a saucer. So no soggy feet…

 

22282049_501427316899719_5744995794223681079_n
Annie anthurium is only a baby, I’m hoping I can get her to grow bigger & re-flower…

 

I’m so glad I had the idea to create my indoor garden…Its October. I am still surrounded by plants & my collection is growing. Admittedly my garden is covered in nasturtiums, which are still covered in flowers…&…I only see them if I look out the back door, where as my plants indoors, I can see them all year…

 

22282085_501429136899537_1292677855580800932_n
This is my birthday ‘Jade plant’ from my Dad…
22365588_500778890297895_2589779057448469178_n
My Dad is in the process of moving, all his furniture is going in storage, so he gave me his orchids…I love orchids. I want to learn how to keep them perfectly, so they last 50 years & give me more flowers each year…

 

Nuff said for now…I need coffee…

Posted in Opinion, Pep Talk, Self hypnosis, Word Prompt

Desire This – Imagine That – Picture This – Create That – Fulfil My Wildest Subbie Fantasies…

via Daily Prompt: Imaginary

I have not done any word prompt blog posts for a while, but this word has prompted me to write about something, which is also the answer to a question I have been milling over in my mind, never actually settling on any one thing, until now…

“Imaginary!”…Or should I say ‘My imagination’…

Before settling down to blog, I am going to get more coffee & put on some self hypnosis. I like to blog whilst listening to self hypnosis, rather then lay down with my eyes shut…

BRB!

Coffee – Check!

Self hypnosis – {Self Hypnosis for Mind Programming Success (Confidence / Motivation / Positivity) – Self Hypnosis for Mind Programming Success (Confidence / Motivation / Positivity) } – Check!

I need to use my imagination ‘Fantasy’ to fulfil my subbie dreams…& other parts of my life too, but first I want to work out my sub life. I was reading some of the posts, in a few groups I joined in Fetlife…I realised why I lost my ‘insatiable subbie self’…I was being myself, rather then using my imagination, to be someone else…

So now I am going to use my imagination. What I am looking for does not exist anymore. So I am going to create what I want, my own fantasy ‘melodrama’ sub life, through writing my own stories, using my own imagination. The fantasies in my mind put into words…

The self hypnosis I am listening to as I type, is suggesting I use an imaginary stop sign, to…well ‘stop’ negative thoughts. I have been using a similar thing to stop me thinking over past hurts, frustrations, embarrassments. If a negative past thought pops into my head, I think ‘STOP THINKING!’ until it goes out of my head…

I believe there is such a thing as psychic attack, as in someone saying, thinking negative, hateful thoughts about you, sending you negative vibes. Sometimes I avoid blogging or commenting in a certain scene in my life, because I want to stay under their bitchy radar. Sounds silly I know…

I just avoid giving the gossips any gossip. Or the bitches anything to bitch about. I literally steer clear, because I don’t need the unnecessary stress, from the unprovoked hassle. Keeping yourself to yourself appears to offend, lol…So I lurk! I read the threads, I read the comments, I laugh at the childish drama, but I don’t dare comment. Otherwise those negative people, would have the opportunity to send me their negative vibes…

Soooo! Use my imagination. Create my own fantasy sub life…Ohh! Isn’t that like having an imaginary friend? lol…Hmmm! Better that, then dealing with negative crap, from negative people…

To use the power of your own mind, you need to really believe in yourself. Any self sabotaging, self doubt just undoes all the positive thinking. I believe I can write my own fantasy stories. I believe I don’t need to meet a new Dom. I can just create my own fantasy Dom & save myself lots of unnecessary hassle…

Maybe that holds me back, living in fantasy land…but…I believe that I will get myself past the negative thoughts about these people, whome I resent…It will get me to where I find what is right for me. After all, if I publish the stories in my blog, like minded people will find my stories, who knows where that can lead…

I have just listened to 2 self hypnosis YouTube video’s. Now I feel inspired to write. Just write what comes to my mind. Get over the resentment. Let it go. Move on. Create something 100 times more fulfilling in my sub life…

Nuff said for now…