Posted in Motivation., Pep Talk, Weight Tracker

3 inches in 4 weeks – My sub life is doing pretty good as well…

In four weeks, I have lost around 4 lbs {Give or take 0.25 lb} & dropped 3 inches off my waist/tummy. That is pretty good going. I am doing amazingly, fantastically, tremendously, fabulously well…

My subbie come back is doing just as well. Its weird. I have got a new FL & Bs account…Two of my oldest scene friends know it is me. Another old friend who used to come to the parties I hosted at my house, he messaged me on my original account, asking if it was me, but there was no mention of chatting, or play…

Then I receive another message from him on my new account. I have not told him who I am just yet…Why? Because he sent me a long personal, detailed, getting to know me message, based on my profile. I have learned more about him, he has noticed more about me. So the way he was with me before was based on the gossip started by my first Ex Dom…Hmmm! Interesting…

I know he is looking for a sub/spankee to play with. I know our friendship will be based on how much we play. How long is he willing to keep chatting? I have already decided that I want to drop another 6 inches off my waist/tummy before I play again…

The thing is…this time I have got a fresh start, a clean slate, the opportunity to create my own reputation, not be stuck with the reputation my first Ex Dom tarnished me with. I remember the reputation he tarnished another one of his Ex sub’s with. He made her out to be thick & a trouble maker, when I met her, I found she was far from thick, she was actually quite intelligent, she certainly talked sense about our him…She was no trouble maker, she was just extrovert & swore like a sailor. I say ‘was’ because she left the scene in the end…

Anyway…I remember him being obsessed with the ‘reputation’ thing. He found that he could give people a bad reputation through spreading malicious rumours. Hmmm! Not a nice person…

Part of me thinks…He is a gossip, he is the trouble maker. If he works out that my new account is me, he will take great pleasure in letting everyone who will listen {The majority} know that it is me, then he will add more nasty, malicious gossip…I actually feel quite nervous…but…If that happens I will just do what I done before…Take a break from all the drama. Hopefully by then I will have proved myself to at least a few decent Dom’s & still have at least one Dom to play with. Though will he treat me accordingly…

Actually my second Ex Dom, who I was in a D/s relationship with for 7+ years, was warned about me, lol…He ignored them, but he did treat me accordingly…Everything is falling into place now. I get it now…Poor sad, mentally ill narcissist, it must be terrible living in his emotionally retarded head…So many years wasted…Why did not not just leave years ago, then come back as someone new, meeting non gossiping, clique peeps…

He would soooo get a thrill from knowing that he has that much power over me…Has he got power over me? Only if I let him. I will not stoop to his level. I could spread malicious gossip about him, but I’m not a malicious gossip. I believe ‘What goes around, comes around’…I believe he got his karma…

Everything is going to work out for the best…

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Posted in Detour On Weight Loss Journey, Emotional Eating, Motivation., Pep Talk, Weight loss journey, Weight Tracker

Crazy Woman On A Diet –

So what have I learned about ‘weight loss journey’ self today…Hmmm?

  1. Emotional ‘change the way I feel’ eating, is a sneaky, snidey ba**ard…
  2. I need to learn stronger coping strategies to deal with the obnoxious ’emotional’ hunger…
  3. I resent all the **ckers in the scene I once had so much fun being in…’Grrrr!’…
  4. So called bad days; not so good days, can feel soooo! long & soooo! destructive, when in reality they last a fraction of time & are in fact a learning curve…
  5. I need to focus on my goals & keep a perspective on the time frame. It feels like I done that weeks ago, then moved on, but in reality I was just not as intensely focused. Time does not fly, our focus flies. Reality flies…Perspective! As in I feel like 3 weeks is a mere 3 hours…A few hours of feeling emotional & giving in to so called ‘comfort eating’ feels like weeks. It was a fraction of the time I felt this way. It does not have to rip open my packet of focused ‘In control’ sweets, neatly packed away, looking sweet & me being ever so good not eating them. Then…GIVE ME THE SWEETS!!! RIIIIPPPPP!!!! STUFF!!!…tears! It does not have to feel that way…It is not that dramatic, not that important, it is just a bag of sweets, FFS! I mean this metaphorically…
  6. I can feel my husband relax, as I fail…Is that crazy? Probably, but I can. Maybe its me seeing it that way, because I am portioning the blame, or something. Maybe is doesn’t have to be quite so intense…So what. I ate some sweet in the ‘Fasting! hour’…{Gasp!}…
  7. Those scales. Those ***king scales. Can **ck! right off & die…HOW DARE THEY!!! 14st12lb ‘Woooo!’…One week of eating a lot less, moving a lot more…15st F**CKING! 2.75 lb…WTF!!! Then 30 seconds later 15st1lb…So I gained 3 lbs? Through eating less & moving more…Those obnoxious, horrendous numbers ruined my day…So they’re out of here, fecking, bast*** scales…
  8. To add salt to my wounds…FECKING! annoying, aggravating, neighbour from hell, cackle woman is back. Can my day get any worse…The woman needs a gag. There is just no need for the noise that comes out of that woman’s mouth, when she laughs…She CACKLES!!!…UGH!!! Tone it down, luv!

That is it for now. I’m sure I will think of more things that I learned over the last 3 weeks…

Persistence! Patience! Perseverance!

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One of the main reason’s I am on this healthy eating, weight loss journey. To see her grow up & have her own children. To be a active part of her life. To be here for my husband & my kids. I want to see all my grandchildren & all my great grandchildren. I want to finish my dream garden & dream home. Three weeks is a drop in the ocean. One minor mishap because I felt emotional is insignificant. Is evaporation. Is joining the rain clouds…

Okay! I will shut up now…

Posted in Motivation., Weight loss journey, Weight Tracker

Hold The Press “I lost 3.75 lb” Week Two Weigh In…

“Yaaaay!” I just weighed myself again…{I won’t go into detail, lol} I have lost more then 0.5 lb I origionally thought I had lost. I have lost a whopping…

 

6
14st12lb

I am still focusing on the exercise, muscle building to burn more calories & healthy eating, but I am soooo! ecstatic to have lost 3.75 lbs “Woooo!!!”. I have gone from trying to think positive thoughts about the 0.5 lb weight loss – to – ecstatic! Which is sad in a way & another blog post…

 

bd9ab921aeb491a2801a5facd73a2858I achieved one of my goals…The ‘Reach the 14’s on the scales’ goal…How can I award myself. I know…A bar of chocolate…Noooo!!! I am going to award myself with a plant…

Inches are still more important to me…but I want to reach my first target weight of 11st0lb. Mind you my start weight on my last successful diet was 14st12lb…but…I regained the 3st weight loss & went up to 17st+…It is just a number & dwelling on the past won’t help…

I have learned a lot about dieting & my body since then. That was just a learning curve, for this weight loss journey, where I will reach my final destination target weight & settle there…

 

Posted in Exercise, Motivation., Paul Mckenna I Can Make You Thin., Pep Talk, Weight loss journey, Weight Tracker

Day Fifteen – Week Three – Dropped 4 inches Over All – Lost 0.5 lb…

Yeesss! Another successful diet day. Another successful diet week ‘Woooo!!!’…I was going to say that my week two weigh day has been a disappointing weigh day, because I lost ‘Only!’ 0.5 lb…but…I lost over all 4 inches, which is 1″ more then week one. My measurements are more important & I know how stubborn my body can be. There is also other factors, like water…

0.5 lb is a loss. It is going in the right direction. The most important thing to me is inch loss & so far in 2 weeks I have dropped 7 inches over all. I measure my bust-ribs {under bust} waist-hips-bottom-thighs-knees-upper arm…

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This week I am going to start gardening like a crazy woman…I want to put all my plants in pots & cement over the ground where I struggle to keep on top of the weeds. My garden is too small for shrubs & too big for pots. When I move, I want either a huge garden, or a court yard garden. I inherited a garden which had been neglected for years. 5 years on, I’m still battling with the same weeds…

So! Inch loss! I am concentrating on inch loss, not weight loss. Which means carry on the way I’m eating. Yesterday I did not have any food all evening & went to bed earlier. So today, when I start eating at 13pm, I would have fasted for 18 hours, because I stopped eating around 19pm last night…

I am going to start gardening 10 minutes at a time. I want to move all my pots closer together. I have got lots of empty pots to fill…Lots of seedlings to plant & hanging baskets to hang. I am really slow this year…

Measurements

Bust – 44″ {0.5″}

Ribs – 39.25″ {0.5″}

Waist – 42″ {1″}

Hips – 45″ {1″}

Bottom – 44″ {0.5″}

Thighs – 26.25″

Arms – 13″ {0.5″}

Knees – 16.25″

I feel inspired to start focusing more on exercise & getting fitter, but I am not going to go back to eating lots of sugary junk food & processed food. I am going to carry on intermittent fasting 13pm to 23pm {Fasting more when I can} & eating healthy, no dieting…Inch loss is definitely more important then weight loss…

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First I need coffee, then gardening…if I was to do what Paul McKenna says in his book ‘I can make you thin’ I would forget the scales & concentrate on the 4 golden rules & getting active. I am going to carry on weighing myself & measuring myself weekly though. Some weeks I might lose lb’s & no inches…

I am going to exercise to build muscle…5 lbs of muscle burns 250-calories VS 5 lbs of fat burning a mere 20 calories. It is a no brainer. I am not going to start doing exercise I can not realistically keep up, but I am going to be focusing on getting more active & doing more strength training. Starting by moving pots around in my garden…

Posted in Food List, Motivation., Pep Talk, Slimming World., Weight loss journey, Weight Tracker

“Woooo!!!!” I reached week two. Week one I done so amazingly well. I am one happy chubby, fluffy bunny…

 

 

2
15st1.75lbs

 

 

My start weight was 15st4.25lbs, so in my first week I lost 2.5 lbs. Which I am very pleased about, considering my body is a stubborn bint, which clings onto fat like a limpet. I think I may have found the answer to my stubborn weight loss…

Cortisol & something I have never thought about, but realised last night…Fecking water retention. I notice how swollen my feet were in a before photo I took. So the healthy eating & drinking enough water should help. I looked at natural herbal remedies, but they are for mild water retention. I have not got extreme oedema, but it is not exactly ‘Just when I’m menstruating’ either…

So I looked up diuretic foods. I eat these foods…

Diuretic foods can include the following: beverages containing caffeine and alcohol, which have a diuretic effect, and several other diuretic foods including celery, onion, eggplant, asparagus, and watermelon are said to have a diuretic effect. In addition, the herbs hawthorn, corn silk, and parsley can be used as diuretics in natural medicine. Of these, hawthorn, (crataegus oxycanthus) is the most powerful.

 

Another reason to eat a healthy diet. A big cause of water retention is too much sodium in the diet. By cutting right down on processed food I am reducing my sodium in take a lot. I just need to wait for my body to catch up…

As for the cortisol. That will correct itself with a anti inflammatory diet…eg- Healthy eating, cut the processed food. I enjoy eating healthy home cooked meals. It takes a little more effort, but it is well worth it, just to improve my health & feel so much better…

Last night I had a few moments wrestling with myself not to break my diet, just to eat a sandwich, after my 23pm food curfew…No! I’m sorry body, I am going to heal you if you like it or not. The pleasure of giving in to eat a sandwich, would have lasted as long as it took me to eat it. Then that feeling of failure…Obviously one sandwich does not damage my whole weight loss journey. It would have just been a minor glip…

I am trying to reprogram my mind to not have that typical ‘Diet mentality’ which is soooo! debilitating & can actually cause weight loss catastrophes…There is not good foods, or bad foods, diet foods & off a diet foods. There is healthy, nutrious food, which keeps me happy, healthy, slim, energetic, motivated, there for my family, which I love with all my heart, so why would I not want to take care of my heart…& the rest of me…

One thing I have noticed. Two people I know who lost lots of weight following a diet. They done really well, reached their target weight, look great. Then they were in hospital with gall bladder issues. I have read about this with other dieters. Also one of the women is now struggling to keep the weight off…So STOP! dieting, start healthy eating that is now my diet. The slimming world extra easy plan is a good healthy eating plan…

Starting this Friday I will be shopping daily. Walking to Aidi’s, which is a 15 minute walk away. I’ll plan the recipe I want to cook the night before. There was a time I would have thought ‘Home cooking is so bland’ & tastes nothing like I expect it to taste, but now my home cooking tastes yummy!

I love meat, poultry, fish, egg’s, cheese, potatoes, rice, bread, cream, butter……On a low carb diet I can eat cream & butter, but no bread, rice or potatoes & it is a tempory fix, you lose lots of water, then you regain said water. Okay so that is very low, low carb. Eating meat, poultry, fish, eggs has got protein, our bodies need protein. They have also got lots of other nutrients…

Nuff said for now…I need more coffee…

Posted in Weight loss journey, Weight Tracker

Day One – Start Weight – Start Measurements…

 

0
15st4.25lbs

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I did take my before photo’s…OMFG! I LOOK HORRENDOUS!!!…but…It gives me the incentive I need to keep on my weight loss journey. I was going to take ‘reality check, before fat photo’s’  every month, to see the results…but I am going to have a weekly photo shoot. I did not try to look good in my photo’s; my hair was in a tight, harsh, unflattering ponytail & I stood so you could see the fat. At least I wasn’t naked, lol…

I won’t add them to my blog just yet; when I reach the stage where I don’t feel the urge to hide myself away. Which could be some weeks. I am going to scrutinise my photo’s; Force myself to look at every little detail, instead of just seeing ‘Gross!’. How can I care about my body, if I hate it. I know I can lose weight to look & feel better; I don’t even have to lose that much. I feel better when I lose one of my chins…

I am off on my {Virtual} travels; travelling on foot {Virtually}

Oo! Its almost 13pm. I have been fasting for 12 hours. I done 5 minutes jogging on my mini trampoline, which earned me almost 2 syn’s. 5 minutes rebounding = around 35-calories. I will count 2 syn’s as I watered the garden. Surely that burned 5 calories…

I have decided that I don’t want to jump in with lots of exercise. I want to get fit. So I will have 15 syn’s each day. 105 syn’s each week. I drink 2 bottles of red wine each week, which is 54 syn’s {Gasp!} I am not giving up red wine. As this is a life style change, I want to adjust my diet to accommodate the wine…Otherwise I’ll go off the diet…

Food time…