Posted in Feng Shui, Motivation.

Feng Shui – Symbolise What You Desire In The Children, Creativity & Entertainment…

With or without children, this is the part of the house that can keep you creative, provide childlike fun, and energize your youthful energy.

So maybe its not such a bad thing, that our bedroom is in the ‘Children, creativity & entertainment’ area of the bagua map…

If you are an artist or an author, look to the Creative area of the Bagua to infuse some creative energy or get over that feeling of having writer’s block.

Maybe this should be the area where I put items which symbolise writing. Because I want to write fantasy sub/spankee stories. I could get a decorative metal box, to keep my kindle in. As I want to self publish my stories on Kindle…

It can be beneficial to improve upon this area even if you are having family relationship issues, career problems, money problems, or health issues to make creative improvements.

I am improving my health through healthy eating. Sleep is a big part of being healthy. I need improved sleep. Just by moving upstairs, no dogs on my bed, no computer in the room, no dumping ground…Which is an improvement in itself…

Symbolize Your Desires

Oo! This could be fun…

My desires are to…

  1. Write fantasy sub/spankee stories to self publish on Kindle…

  2. Decorate & feng shui our whole house & garden…

  3. Create a tropical theme garden. I love the jungle effect…

  4. Create my indoor garden in the whole of our house, using every available space…

  5. Collect more crystals…

  6. Grow home grown organic veg, all year…

  7. Walk to get fit…

  8. Lose weight, improve my health…

  9. Get more energy & motivation…

  10. Walk in the woods with my little granddaughter & dogs…

  11. Spend more time in nature…

  12. Create a art journal…

I’ll start with 12 things I desire…

I have got a fireplace in my children, creativity & entertainment bagua map area. The element in this area is metal, fire element is destructive to the metal element, so I will need to use a cure. A cure could be a large mirror, but this is our bedroom, you should not put a mirror opposite your bed. So I’ll use a picture of water…water is destructive to fire, metal is a productive element to water…

e0083b979324aaab84fe398c3009f5fc

I have got a artwork of water, but as this is our creativity area on the bagua map. I am going to photograph my own water pictures…I could go down to the front & take photo’s of the Thames estuary, then collect some stones to bring back & put on the soil in my plant pots…

2250569_12698daa

That way I get the water element above the fireplace {Fire element} & I am symbolising my desire to walk & get fit again. I used to walk a lot along the front. Stones & photo’s from where I want to walk, is a good way to symbolise my desire to walk & get fit…

I need to keep my camera in this area too. As well as art & craft items…

It is going to be so much fun putting feng shui into action in our home & garden…

Advertisements
Posted in Feng Shui, Motivation.

A feng shui dilemma…

I have a feng shui dilemma…My Master bedroom is not in the actual ‘Master bedroom’ of our home..& it is in the ‘Children, creativity & entertainment’ area of the bagua map. I want our bedroom to be a quiet, relaxing, adult sanctuary, free of kids & pets…

Bagua-Map-e1453218954498

So I need some feng shui cures, but what feng shui cures…

Also marriage, relationships & partnerships is outside, when the bagua map is put over our house, both upstairs & downstairs…

I am looking to do the outside relationship area as a ‘feng shui’ garden. Which I can see from our bedroom window…& through the lounge patio doors…

The element is metal…The colours are white, bright & pastel colours – Check!

Metal beds squeak, so no metal bed frames…

Feng shui is about symbolism, so I need to symbolise ‘Children, creativity, entertainment’ in my bedroom as ‘Not in my calm, relaxing’ bedroom…

  • Art with a strong Metal element energy. This can be art depicting actual metalpjätteryd-picture-paris-1935__0485361_pe621491_s4 features, colours white and grey, or round shapes (the shape of the Metal element)

The Eiffel tower is strong, metal, is in the ‘romantic’ city of Paris…So symbolises ‘Romance!’ in our bedroom…

Also Jade’s dream is to go to Disneyland, so ‘Children’ is in there too. I’m sure my other children would like to go there too, but not as much as Jade, lol…

  • Art expressing the energy of creativity. Focus on finding images that represent (to you) the free flow of creative energy. Be mindful about the colours in your chosen art and avoid strong Fire or Water element colours in the West bagua area of your home.

Art which expresses us…We are into totally different things. Though I like horses too, but

Stanhope-DesertOrchidL
Desert Orchid…

in different ways. I worked with horses, owned my own, rode, broke my own horse in & schooled her…My husband is into horse racing, was once a betting shop manager. He named our youngest after his favourite race horse, well her 3rd name ‘Orchid’…but I love orchids…So we need a picture of desert orchid & orchids…That also symbolises our youngest daughter, Chloe. She also wants to ride & work with horse…sooo! Another good symbol of our creativity energy, our children, but not overpowering our calm, relaxing marital bedroom…

 

  • 3. Photos of your children or their art. Choose photos that evoke happy and joyful moments full of wonder and creative expression.

Except you’re not supposed to put those things in your marital bedroom. So they can go in the lounge down stairs, which is also in the ‘Children, creativity & entertainment’ area of the bagua map…

  • Earth element art. Choose art with a variety of landscapes, mountains, or sandy beaches. Creative images of soil are also a good expression of the Earth feng shui element.

Earth strengthens the metal element?…Which is the element in the ‘Children, creativity, entertainment’ area of the bagua map…

 

e0083b979324aaab84fe398c3009f5fc
Hmmmm! So earth is productive to metal, but metal exhausts earth. Metal is destructive to wood {My plants?} the bed? if it is a wooden frame? So no fire element? A balance of mental & earth. No water element? Except my plants need water…Like with most things in life ‘balance’ moderation…

 

  • Metal or Earth element items such as tall sculptures, decor items in Metal colours (white, grey) and shapes are excellent here. You can also use the shapes of Metal or Earth feng shui elements in order to further strengthen this bagua area. Avoid Fire and Water shapes in all your West bagua area feng shui cures.

Avoid fire & water…but must water my plants, lol…

 

Feng-Shui-board-metal
Feng shui metal board

 

 

metal-element-blog-collage-1024x576
Feng shui metal element décor board…

 

I’m off to drink red wine with my friend Kim…

 

Posted in Feng Shui, Indoor Garden, Life as a submissive/spankee, Motivation., Pep Talk

Start telling the universe what you want…

I am interested in feng shui…& after spending time in my son’s vacated bedroom, clearing out the junk…OMFG! That room definitely needs cleansing. It is going to be my new bedroom. So I get to clear, clean, decorate & move in all new stuff…

I’m left wondering…Was I a bad parent, because I left him to it, to do his own thing? That bedroom has definitely got bad chi…Then I’m thinking ‘I should have gone in his bedroom to completely clean up, I should have asked for his washing’…My husband would go & clear his rubbish, dirty dishes, do his washing, wash his bedding. Me…I thought he was old enough to take care of his own bedroom…My daughters take care of their own bedrooms & do their own washing. Aka ‘laundry’…

New beginnings…

A fresh new start…

Attracting strong Chi, or feng shui energy into one’s home or office is very important. A strong, vibrant flow of Chi in your home (or office) will keep nourishing your personal energy, thus allowing you to focus on and achieve whatever goals you have for yourself.

I have set myself goals, but I have not ‘Feng shui-d’ my home. Not entirely. Not thoroughly. There is so much bad feng shui. Like broken lights, a broken dish washer. That is going in the skip. A broken oven. Again that is going in the skip…

I am determined to fix everything, but I have to learn how to nag. My Mum told me I need to learn how to nag. As in ‘I want that light fixed’…but…I don’t like nag’s…Nagging is just an annoying, aggravating, droning noise ‘No one’ listen’s to…One of my friends is a nag, everyone in her family seems to hate her…Nagging is not good. So no I won’t be learning how to nag. I’d rather just do it myself. Not that my mum was a nag. My Dad was the moody ranter, lol…

5c823be47aa3e7e6698994dd3fed176a

 

45ff51a38233a9ba0e558c09898d40a6
I want to use every available space for storage, as my house is very lacking in storage space. Then again I could keep under my bed clear…but…I also have this irrational fear of something being under my bed, about to grab me. I watch to many ghost programmes, lol…

c05f727e1cbb8abd1632e1410c3f9165

 

eb11484e04a2a25ce2d5ffc5493cb192
I want to let go of the negative things in my life & move on, to create a fresh new, improved, relaxing future…With lots plants, writing, steering clear of negative people. I want to write fantasy sub/spankee stories to eventually sell on kindle, I want to grow a variety of houseplants, to eventually start propagating & sell…Time to let go of the negative clutter & create the motivation, inspiration, focus I need to reach my goals…both small, medium & large. Short term, to long term & in between…I am always evolving, just go with flow, but take along a paddle to steer my way…

 

 

Posted in Motivation., Opinion, Pep Talk, Self hypnosis

Self!

I am interested in psychology, visualisation, the power of our own mind, how our brain works. So I was looking into neural pathways…

 

brain-neurons_849_990x742
3d neuron

 

The human brain may contain up to one trillion neurons. These nerve cells are interconnected, as shown in this microscopic image, so that they can transmit electrical impulses—and information—to other cells.

Apparently our brain also clears away unused neurons…

So this is me clearing away the old & creating the new…Can we literally change the way we think by trusting our brain to create new pathways? Aka neural path ways…

There is so much about personality disorders, depression, etc. Is it possible to learn new ways of thinking, just by making the effort to change the way we think. As in ‘I see that in myself’ then learn new ways around that negativity…

I know positive thinking works. I know visualisation works. I have proved this to my self many times. I have suffered from depression in the past. I literally hit rock bottom, then found a way to clamber my way out of that deep treacherous dark cavon of despair, through self ‘cognitive therapy’ I never realised what I was doing, until I looked up CBT…

So ‘Cognitive behaviour therapy’ is like creating new neural pathways in our brain? That makes a lot of sense to me…

Obviously you have to put the effort in & you do have to learn ways to let go of certain negative thoughts. I have got this aggravating {aggravating to me} long memory. I can remember details from as far back as when I was 2. I remember near enough every negative thing in my past life. Those thoughts, those so called memories, would just POP! right in my head…Ugh! I have learned to think ‘STOP! thinking’ & distract myself…

The other week I had what I now realise was a panic attack. It dawned on me…’I was having panic attacks’ all these years, but I taught myself coping strategies. If I allow myself to think deeply about something which hurts me, it can lead to so called anxiety & stress…

Taking the myer brigs personality test…I took it 4-5 times, to be sure that I really am a INFJ…OMFG! It is the best thing I ever done for myself. Apparently us INFJ’s are rare; only 1% of the population. When I started reading all I could on my INFJ personality. It was like a light went on & a heavy burden was lifted off me…The burden of ‘Disliking myself’ Of criticising myself. Of self loathing…I am a pretty special person, now I actually like myself…when I spent years thinking I was a horrible, bad, unlikable person…

INFJ (introversion, intuition, feeling, judging) is an initialism used in the publications of the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) to refer to one of the sixteen personality types. The MBTI assessment was developed from the work of prominent psychiatrist Carl Jung in his book Psychological Types.

I’m still unlikeable to the mainstream peeps, but who cares…

I know of at least 4 people with personality disorders. A narcissist, borderline personality & 2 histrionic peeps…I have taken the personality disorder tests as well. I took the test as ‘Nervous break down me’ &…well…me! Nervous break down me was bordering on border line personality disorder…but…I don’t need attention, or have a break down at what I perceive as rejection…

Nuff said for now…I am going to build some more neural pathways, lol…Or just ‘Read!’…

 

 

 

 

Posted in Creative writing, Life as a submissive/spankee, Motivation., Pep Talk

Just start writing…

I want focus all my ‘sub/spankee me’ attention, on writing fantasy ‘sub/spankee’ stories…but now I need to ‘Just write!’…I want to read all my kindle spankee stories, to give me inspiration. Well more ‘give me confidence’…I can write as good as these spankee authors, if I put my mind to it…

It is easy to see others as more accomplished, more professional, more eloquent & see myself as an amateur. The kindle authors are amateurs too & they have managed to self publish a book on kindle…

It is my self confidence which is holding me back. So I’m an amateur. So a snobby grammar geek decided to point out my ‘Bad grammar’ in the story I wrote for him. He should know, he went to grammar school…Oo! Get him!…lol…

My Mum went to grammar school too & she learned how to read from the age of 3…My Mum taught me how to read & write, where school failed, because I was/am very quiet. I remember one teacher who did take the time to listen to me read…With other teachers, or parent volunteers, if I did not know a word, I would mumble over it & they would not ask me what I said. Which just goes to show, the teachers were not listening, lol…

Obviously that was way back 44+ years ago…I’m taking it things have changed…Then again I taught each of my children how to read & write, the school didn’t, though I’m sure they would take credit for it…

So this is me just writing. Practicing. Keeping it simple so as not to put myself off pursuing my published on kindle ‘fantasy sub/spankee story’ dreams…Some times when I read a perfectly grammatically correct story, or other writing, it is a tad dull. I was once given a story, which was apparently written for me, but…I had already read the same story, which I know had been written for someone else, only the name had been changed. I was quite hurt by that…Because it was my ‘then’ Dom/spanker who had sent me this impersonal story, which he had written for someone else…Soooo! Insensitive…

In my fantasy sub/spankee stories. The submissive will be treated with respect. She definitely won’t be treated like ‘Just a bottom’…I am going to get started on my characters as soon as I have finished blogging here…

Also…How do I write it? As myself? Me telling my fantasy story. Or as the story teller, describing my characters story? There is a name for that…The first person, second person, whatever person…I will look it up, because I don’t want to be hopping backwards & forwards, that will get too confusing & complicated…

I want to write what pops into my head ‘literally’…& see where it leads me…Though first I need characters, a plot, conflict, apparently my plot needs conflict so it does not flat line, whatever that means…

I will return…

 

Posted in Indoor Garden, Life as a submissive/spankee, Motivation., Opinion, Pep Talk

Is it possible to reprogram your mind?

Mind over matter?

Three photo’s of my indoor garden…I love my plants. The colours, the contrast, the various shapes, sizes & textures. They are ‘Glorious!’ {Smiles}

I thought I would do some research on the benefits of indoor gardening…

Starting with the tree hugger

  • They give an assist in breathing

My breathing is particully bad…{250 lung capacity} So any natural help is much appreciated…

  • They help deter illness

We have not put the heating on yet this year, but when we do. I will have purer, more humid air. I might need to water more often? I will look that up…

  • They clean the air

“Yaaay!”

  • They boost healing

Well my houseplants certainly make me feel good…So I am more relaxed, calm, a soothing contentedness every time I look at my plants…

  • They help you work better

Maybe I should find myself a cosy hidey corner. Surround myself with more plants, more plants is always best when it comes to plants…& start writing my fantasy spankee stories…’Mmmm!’ bamboo, willow ‘Birch’…lol…{That just confused any vanilla folks}

See…my sub/spankee self is still here. She will never go away, she is a huge part of who I am. I just need to keep working towards a way I can be my sub/spankee self & not be aggravated by the dreaded…Ugh! scene!…I might put a self imposed ban on myself using that word. First I need to get it out of my system…

I hate the scene with a vengeance…

The scene is full of weirdo, freak, chancers, perv’s, creepy perv’s, attention seeking, emotionally insecure, controlling, arrogant, nasty, malicious, vindictive, gossiping, back stabbing, cliquey, obnoxious, rude, ignorant, bullying, insensitive ‘Jerks!’ FROM HELL!!!

Right! I got that out of my system. Now ‘Let it go!’…Move on…Create my own sub/spankee life, through writing ‘fantasy’ stories & forget the real life screwed up ‘scene’…

The END!

From now on. If I mention that word. Or blog about that which can no longer be named…I will write a short fantasy story…Not that I want my mind to associate my writing fantasy, with the negative thoughts I have about the whatsitsface…No, mind…I am just training myself to put my sub/spankee thoughts to good use…

Wait! One more time ‘Scene!’

The ban starts now…………………………………………………………………………………

Posted in Indoor Garden, Life as a submissive/spankee, Opinion, Pep Talk, Self hypnosis

An INFJ sub is a paradox…

what-you-allow-is-what-will-continue-quote-1

I feel so much more calm & content, since making the decision to ditch the scene. A huge sigh of relief, like a HUGE! bitchy burden has been lifted off my shoulders…

Ryan is popping back this afternoon from number 51, to visit. He moved out yesterday morning {Smiles} He is probably picking up more of his stuff, but his making it around 2.30pm, so he’ll see his Dad as well, so Dad will probably get to see him more then when he was dossing here. I mean living here, lol…

Anyway…As I was going to use as a blog prompt…”What you allow, is what will continue”…It may seem a tad dramatic to some. Well many. Because the scene clique mentality is rife & cliques think enmass!…I am no longer allowing myself to feel that niggling aggravation, because I feel disappointed & disheartened. Also used & abused…

Its like someone who attended a few of my parties. He is a really nice bloke. A quite distinguished gentleman, we got on quite well…Though there was not exactly any conversation. He was just caning me…HARD! One strength fits all…HARD! Too HARD! He is one of the few I have had to stop. I don’t use a silly safe word, I just say, quite firmly ‘That hurts too much!’ & if it carries on ‘I have had enough!’…

Anyway. He sent me a pm. I never told him who I was…but he wanted to chat. In the end I decided not to chat, because I knew I would not play with him. I could take a lot of pain, I was a bit of a pain slut…but I love it for the after effects; it is not a competition, in the end it got to over crowded. I don’t care that so & so took 50 & never moved, in fact she bratted in a whiny voice ‘Have you started yet’…{Yawns!}

Oops! I brought back the disappointing, disparaging, often disheartening, so called fecking scene into my mind…See ‘Mind fuck!’…I believe in the power of our own mind & my mind is telling me. No SHOUTING! at me. This is not right. This feels all wrong…

Personally…I don’t feel the BDSM/spanking scene is emotionally, mentally healthy. Not for a person who is being themselves & for a INFJ…who can spot a fake person at whatever paces. The scene is a CONSTANT! mind fuck!…

Soooo! I need to remove myself from the situation which can potentially cause me to be fucked ‘Mentally’…Not even psychically. Jeeze!

As my husband describes me. I am a straight thinking person. The scene is…well…full of kinks…

…& breath…relax

In with calm…Out with stress…

I am going to stop now; go & make coffee, then look at my gorgeous plants. My plants sooth my soul. All the BDSM/spanking scene does is AGGRAVATE! & GRIND! on my every frazzled from the clique peeps ‘nerves!’…

Actually…I’m making it sound way worse then it really is. In reality, I am laughing as I blog this…Not crazy, lost it, manic, like…noooo…more 80% calm me 20% can see all the fecking scene flaws…

Deep breaths are good. Calming, soothing meditating is a must. My indoor garden. Who can resist. Grating clique peeps…Pffft!!!

Coffee time…

Here is some more photo’s of my indoor garden…

 

Posted in Indoor Garden, Motivation.

Another one of my babies fly’s the nest…

Soooo! Ryan moved out this morning…at 3am…Ummm! Him & his mates carried his mattress down the road to number 51. They probably looked quite suspicious, lol…I do feel for their neighbours. I have heard my son’s music…’Eeeek!’…

I’m very proud of my independent son. Though he might be back with washing. I’ll probably see more of him, it will be more quality time, as he’ll be visiting. That empty nest syndrome…Eh?

I love the fact that my kids are able to move out. Gaining a new bedroom, garden room & Jade moving down stairs into a bigger room, is a added bonus. I’m so excited to finally get a more relaxing bedroom. Time to start planning. As the big clear out & major ‘dream home’ overhaul starts in February 2018…

More plants…Lots of crystals…I am going to feng shui our home & garden…Something so simple as finally getting a ‘private’ {No computer, no hanging out, no dogs} bedroom…I’ve worked out how many plants I can fit in my new bedroom…

It is really tall. So lots of lovely sunshine from the East in the morning & some sunshine from the South in the afternoon. I can fit 8 pots on the window sill & about 16 plants in front of the window. Also with LED lighting I can spread even more plants around the room…

I need to research the plants which give off oxygen at night…but…all that oxygen & air purification during the day, I doubt we’ll be effected by the carbon dioxide given off at night, by many plants. After all there is lots of clean air from the day time…

Snake plants give off oxygen at night. So I’ll definitely be putting snake plants in my bedroom {Aka mother inlaws tongue}

591a13a77b9bafd5a520f5ce326cbc55--chicago-house-green-plants

8cb5f440432364797499d7343c167e06

I have got a few spider plants. I have also got ivy…& aloe vera…Can you grow lavender indoors? I imagine it needs lots of light…

Posted in Indoor Garden

My indoor garden is spreading…

Darn! I need to remember that all the Christmas stuff comes out around my birthday, even though my birthday is at the beginning of October. Lots of lovely Christmas decorations, not so many plant/artificial plants…Though Alton garden centre does have a good selection of house plants. Just the lovely artificial plants I saw in the summer…replaced by Christmas…

There was a few artificial plants. A huge blossom tree…Just under £800…A tad tooooooo! expensive…

My indoor garden is spreading out. I need to re-arrange my plants…

22281771_501516056890845_7676076878636195637_n22308734_501518126890638_8407791998902260147_n22308966_501516100224174_1356906979796396279_n22310359_501518170223967_4821090504100067781_n22310515_501518146890636_536104614703386999_n22365588_500778890297895_2589779057448469178_n22365646_501518113557306_2057509663942792792_n22366439_501518450223939_5171785735327332949_n22405490_501516080224176_2921277748815788121_n

Posted in Motivation.

Happy Birthday To Me…

“Yaaay!” Its my birthday…I am 49 years young…The last year of my 40’s. My plan for my life in my 50’s ‘To come’…More gardening. More getting creative in my home & garden. No more sub/spankee me. Though of course sub/spankee is still in there…Planning!

I want to leave the aggravating scene behind & write my own fantasy spanking stories. I am going to create my own solitary sub fantasy ‘melodrama’ through writing. If they are any good {I might need to learn better creative writing skills} I will upload them as a kindle book & hopefully sell them…

Of course I need to get started. At the moment I am stuck on the last part of my scene existence…& its getting pretty boring…Ugh!…Soooo! Get writing. Get creating. Focus on the hobbies I have had for years, but always put behind my sub/spankee interest. Which I now realise was maybe a tad too all consuming…

Probably because…as my husband describes it…’It!’ The dreaded scene!…As a constant ‘Mind fuck!’ & his not wrong. Soooo! NO MORE!…Instead of going in the forum & reading the latest bitch-fest/pointless drama. I am going to write-write-write & write some more…

Its like my precious indoor garden, which I am creating…It fills me with so much…For fear of being a tad cheesy…It fills me with ‘Joy!’…I love my plants. I just repotted my anthurium. She had wet feet. She was living in a glass jar/pot. Her leaves were going yellow, so I thought it was time to repot her, where she can dry out between watering. Technically she could go with out being watered for some time, but now she lives in a terracotta pot, on a saucer. So no soggy feet…

 

22282049_501427316899719_5744995794223681079_n
Annie anthurium is only a baby, I’m hoping I can get her to grow bigger & re-flower…

 

I’m so glad I had the idea to create my indoor garden…Its October. I am still surrounded by plants & my collection is growing. Admittedly my garden is covered in nasturtiums, which are still covered in flowers…&…I only see them if I look out the back door, where as my plants indoors, I can see them all year…

 

22282085_501429136899537_1292677855580800932_n
This is my birthday ‘Jade plant’ from my Dad…
22365588_500778890297895_2589779057448469178_n
My Dad is in the process of moving, all his furniture is going in storage, so he gave me his orchids…I love orchids. I want to learn how to keep them perfectly, so they last 50 years & give me more flowers each year…

 

Nuff said for now…I need coffee…